What Do We Do With Our Fear?
During the drive into the office today, I was digesting all I had heard on the morning news about the “canceling of everything” in certain areas due to concerns over COVID-19 (the novel coronavirus).
I am not a prepper, but if I were, I could finally dust off my army surplus gas mask and try out that homemade desalination unit I built a few years back. I don’t have a gas mask or bunker or the like. The closest I came to becoming a prepper was during the first year Brandy and I were married. In that year, I drove around with all of my camping, fishing, and “survival gear” in the cavernous trunk of our mid-80’s powder blue Ford Crown Vic. I told people that I wanted to be prepared to survive anything at a moment’s notice. What I did not tell people was that there was no room (and by no room I mean no priority) for all my outdoorsy stuff in our small apartment. Basically, I masqueraded as a prepper to keep an apocalypse from happening in my young marriage.
As I continued my ride to work today, I considered how, though not a prepper, the fears over COVID-19 really suit me quite well. I had no idea that our whole country needed to learn how to wash their hands, and I am a big fan of personal hygiene, so I am quite pleased that people are so scared they are willing to be clean. Additionally, I am a big fan of social distance and perfectly happy to not have the pressure to hug or be hugged for the foreseeable future. In other words, I am way less afraid of not having to hug people than of the alternative.
My lack of worry in this regard does not make me better or more spiritual than those who are feeling very real concern and even fear over this virus. When we consider the rising level of community fear in regards to COVID-19, it would be easy to judge the value or validity of people’s fear response based on our own feelings. If we are not careful, we view our feelings as the measure of what should be normative and judge others on that basis. If I tend to feel less fear, my natural inclination may be to think that others must be over afraid, overreacting, over sensitive. If I feel a great deal of fear, then I judge those with less fear as being less caring, calloused, and ignorant.
The question we should be asking is not “Should we be feeling fear?” but rather “What do we do with our fear?”
We all face fears. I may not fear getting sick, but I know fear. I know the fear of being unable to protect someone I love. I know the fear of being unwanted or unnecessary. I remember the first time as a child that I felt real fear in the midst of a family crisis. The foundations of my life were shaken, and not knowing what would lie ahead was terrifying.
We all face fear, so what do we do with our fear? Fear is like a car—it moves us. It takes us somewhere. If our level of fear is mostly fueled by uncertainty, then where this fear moves us is toward what is certain. In my youth, what had been stable was fractured; uncertain. I was afraid. My fear took me looking for where I could be safe, where my foundation could be certain. In other words, my fear showed me my faith.
When we examine Scripture, we see admonitions to not worry or to fear not. It would be easy to draw the simple conclusion that “good Christians” should not have fear or worry. I think the better reminder in such texts is to recognize that we were taught about worry and fear because we would experience worry and face fear. Jesus taught people that they didn’t have to worry about tomorrow precisely because they were worried about tomorrow. Angels told humans to fear not because angels are apparently quite terrifying and fear-inducing. Those instructions weren’t prohibitions against worry and fear but rather invitations to faith. They were an invitation to have our fear take us somewhere good, to reveal and strengthen our faith. Fear not… I have good news. Don’t worry... I have it all under control. (Luke 2:10 and Matthew 6:34)
My childhood encounter with fear moved me to look for safety and certainty. In the end, I found nothing that I could trust more than the assurance that my Creator had my life in his hands. Without fear, I would not have found the flaws in my foundation. My fear took me to Jesus, and I have not needed to fear in that way since; he has it under control.
In the days ahead, as we face the real and perceived challenges of COVID-19, my encouragement to you is not to squash or ignore fear but rather to pay attention to where your fear takes you. Your fear will show you your faith, and knowing where your faith is, what you are certain of, is valuable information.
John Parker is the lead pastor at Summit Church. He enjoys woodworking and boats and dreams of building his own boat in the coming years.