True Sabbath Rest
A couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to sit down (via zoom) with Lauren Lanker. I was eager to learn more about her family’s practice of Sabbath, and it turned out I wasn’t the only one. Lauren shared that just the evening before, she had been on a call with another friend asking the same questions I was, and for the same reason.
We’ve adapted and settled into new routines this year, but I’ve continued to struggle with finding rest. And, as a parent of young kids, I’ve felt the absence of in-person church services keenly. As I’ve watched Lauren and her husband, Mark, move through this season, deep in the preschool years just like us, I’ve grown more and more curious about their weekly Sabbath.
What Lauren shared resonated so deeply with the ache I’ve been feeling in this year full of unknowns and exhaustion. And I can’t wait to share it with you...
So let’s start with the basics, what does Sabbath mean?
In Hebrew, Sabbath, or Shabbot, means to stop from work, just like God rested after the work of creation. And traditionally, it’s observed from sundown on one evening to sundown on the next. I first heard about the practice of Sabbath in a sermon by John Mark Comer. The idea of Sabbath as a spiritual discipline was new to me, but it felt exciting, soul renewing… We weren’t ready to dive into it at the time. But a year later I came back to the idea. I was feeling so burnt out and exhausted, so in the summer of 2014 we began observing a weekly Sabbath.
What does the Sabbath look like for you?
One tricky thing for us is that Mark works a hospital night shift, and I often work Sundays, so we have to plan out our Sabbath days on the calendar in advance. There have been seasons in the past when we occasionally had to do just a six or twelve hour period instead of twenty-four. It’s still good. But there’s even more goodness waiting for us in the full twenty-four hours. I find that sometimes I don’t really unwind from the frenetic pace of my week until the last few hours of my Sabbath, when I can finally exhale in a way that I haven’t been able to before.
In the beginning we were very focused on what was and wasn’t allowed, but over time we’ve relaxed into guidelines. For us, Sabbath is a time to:
Stop from all work, including housework, and from time on our phones.
Rest, not just vegging, but real soul rest, and we find ways to give that to each family member.
Delight in God’s creation and in community with others.
Worship by connecting with God and experiencing his love.
What do you look forward to most about your Sabbath?
I’ve actually started looking forward to turning my phone to do not disturb. We plug our phones in in the laundry room and shut the door. It’s so freeing to have a day not checking my phone and scrolling. I start to feel like my best self again, where my work and productivity don’t own me. That time of presence with God is so sweet, and it reminds me that I’m loved for who I am and not for what I do. My work has no bearing on my worth. My worth is in Christ; he finished the work so I don’t have to. When I return to my work after that twenty-four hour period, it’s from a place of freedom I didn’t have before.
What do your kids enjoy most about the Sabbath?
We have a weekly calendar with pictures, and our four-year-old knows that the rainbow means it’s our Sabbath day. It’s her favorite day of the week. We always start the Sabbath together by lighting a candle, and we sing “Shabbot Shalom” (peaceful Sabbath) to every member of the family, then to the cat, and whatever else she wants to sing to. We eat a meal together and try to make it special, even if it’s just adding sprinkles to the broccoli. And we talk about what we want to do together that Sabbath. Once she said she wanted to build a pile of pillows and jump in it, so we did. Without over planning, being intentional and purposeful is a really helpful thing. But what I think she loves most about Sabbath is that she has her parents present with her and free of distraction.
What’s helped you to keep observing Sabbath, especially through the chaos of the toddler years?
While we may mark the Sabbath with a rainbow on the calendar, it’s definitely not always sunshine and rainbows. It’s not perfect. Toddlers have tantrums on Sabbath. There are still messes to clean up. Sometimes Mark and I have a conflict, and sometimes I feel anxious or depressed. And that’s often because it’s the first time in the week that I’m slowing down and checking in with how I’m feeling.
When we have a rough Sabbath, we shake it off and don’t give up. God says "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Our job is just to show up, faithfully, and to accept the rest that God offers. And Sabbath invites us to stop and see his goodness in the midst of dirty diapers and crying children. It really fills my soul and carries me through. We live Sabbath to Sabbath now.
How has the pandemic, and the shift to church at home, impacted your Sabbath?
Worship has always been a part of our Sabbath, so now we’ll all sit together and watch the preschool and elementary videos. Then we usually take a break from screens, and Mark and I will watch or listen to the sermon later when it’s just the two of us. Sometimes we’ll read from the Jesus Storybook Bible, or find ways to bring worship into whatever we’re doing. It might be a bike ride where we focus on enjoying God and his creation. A big part of my spiritual journey is the truth that God is with me wherever I go, and Sabbath has helped wake me up to experiencing his presence.
For us, Sabbath is like an anchor point, especially because our schedule is so erratic and ever-changing. During this pandemic and the time of quarantine, everything was canceled, and Sabbath was a way to track our time and not let our days all blend into one another. It’s an anchor for our calendar and for our emotional and spiritual selves. It has grounded us in a time that has felt so unsteady.
What would you say to someone (like me) who is just beginning to practice Sabbath?
Don’t get over-focused on the rules, there’s so much freedom in it! But it does take work to Sabbath, as crazy as that sounds. It’s easier to just keep going with your life and muddling through, but your soul won’t be well rested that way. The day before Sabbath is the busiest day of the week because we know Sabbath is coming. That deadline is essential to us being able to enter into rest. We won’t get it all done, so I do as much as I can, and then remember I’m not the one in charge. God is. The world will keep spinning even if I close my laptop and leave the laundry unfolded. That’s okay. It’s hard to surrender and find our satisfaction not in checking all the boxes, but in the Lord. However, Sabbath is worth the work. It’s worth the preparation. It’s worth it to do things in advance and set myself up to receive the rest and freedom that Sabbath makes possible.
It may never feel like an ideal time to start Sabbath, but in many ways, that’s the BEST time to start! We need it, especially as parents, because the work never really ends. You’ll never feel ready, but God blessed the Sabbath when he created it. And so there is goodness in that rest that only he can give us.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey of Sabbath with us, Lauren!
Lauren Lanker is a member of the Base Camp team at the Waterford Lakes campus, directing BCL and musicals as a part of Summit’s family theatre ministry. You can also find her at The Thinking Closet, Lauren’s online presence where she sparks creativity and community. Lauren, her husband, Mark, and their two daughters love spending time together out on the water and tackling creative projects. We’re so thankful to have her on our team!